San Carlo
A THREE HOUR ITALIAN CITY BREAK
It’s day 2 with our guests from deepest Sussex and Sass wants to show off her favourite bit of Brum to Simon - the Cathedral and of course, that means Pigeon Park too. Given our proximity Sass suggests San Carlo – the place where she celebrated both her 16th and 18th birthdays.
Rewind the 25 odd years to back then and San Carlo was pretty much Il Capo of Birmingham’s restaurant scene. They’ve now expanded to 16 restaurants in the UK, with a further 6 abroad and they boast that they’re the ‘Best Italian restaurant in the UK’. I’ve not been for about 20 years myself so, hey ho, why not?
Upon entering the restaurant there are hundreds of framed photos of the owner and management with a host of celebrities amongst what I’d guess are photos of their regular ‘VIP’ customers.
Their train is booked for just after 3, so we decide on a midday table and despite arriving 15 minutes late, there are already a few tables occupied by pin-striped business types and immaculately coiffeured ladies who lunch.
The main room is impressive - a large square, mirrored dining room. They’re wearing vanity on their sleeve and it oozes grandeur from a bygone period. It’s an immaculate set design and the stage is set for the extremely well groomed waiting staff - straight from central casting – and their choreography is exquisite too.
It would seem they have a strict policy of only employing the absolute most Italian of Italians and all communication between staff is in their native tongue, whereas at the table it switches to English with a few Italian words thrown in for the performance. I rather like that they correct erroneous pronunciations and show their respect on menu choices that meet their approval.
And it’s some menu. There are 14 antipasti, 3 carpaccios, 9 shellfish dishes, 9 breads and bruschette, 15 pizzas, 21 pastas and 26 main courses. And then there are the specials. It’s a Who’s Who of Italian food. If you’ve seen it on a tourist menu in Italy, it will definitely be available here.
The girls have both gone for Gamberoni alla Diavolo (Tiger Prawns sautéed with garlic, fresh chilli and white wine) with a portion of Foccacia and Garlic Bread on the side. Katrina declines a main course and Sass goes for the Gorgonzola and Courgette Pasta off the specials board. Simon picks the Beef Carpaccio (with mustard dressing, parmesan and rocket) and for my starter I’ve gone with the Fegatini di Pollo (Chicken livers sautéed with Marsala, chestnuts and grapes) and we’ve both gone for the Tagliolini Lobster for our mains – “San Carlo’s most famous pasta dish with lobster, brandy, tomato, peas and a touch of cream” – as their most famous pasta dish and at £23.50 I’m quite excited. We’ve also gone for a bottle of Langhe DOC Chardonnay – “Carlo’s favourite Chardonnay” - and it’s not hard to see why, so we end up having two bottles.
By 1 o’clock it’s about half full and it’s a great people watching venue – there’s a group of five Eastern European blokes in their 30s – two are in baseball caps and one of those is also wearing the most garish tight shorts and t-shirt combo I’ve ever witnessed. It brings to mind a kaleidoscopic Jackson Pollock – and not remotely worn with any kind of camp. They are in and out within an hour after having passed across and around the table huge wads of cash. There’s a young couple – barely out their teens – enjoying a romantic meal. A middle aged couple dressed like British tourists on an Italian city break – the sort of couple who wear matching identical grey cargo shorts, beige t-shirt and walking boots. And by now there are even more business lunch types and ladies who lunch.
The girls’ Gamberoni arrive first along with the Garlic Bread and Foccacia, which is actually a flatbread – think pizza wheel - with sea salt, olive oil and rosemary. The Gamberoni come with a side salad garnish straight from the 1980s and it looks badly boring, although they both say it tastes decent enough. There is no complaint at all from Simon about his Carpaccio. My Fegatini di Pollo comes in a very rich, very brown Bisto looking gravy, although the liver was just the right side of well cooked and the chestnuts and grapes (sultanas) provided different textures. Just a shame their flavours were a little lost in what turns out to be an overpowering sauce.
As for the mains, Sass enjoyed hers enough to ask for a doggy bag. San Carlo’s most famous pasta dish came beautifully presented – the thin ribboned pasta shaped like the tail of a lobster and bejeweled with peas. As for the flavour… I’m struggling to remember when I was so underwhelmed by a dish.
The ‘go to’ easy dinner for our daughter until she was 14 and started to know better was ‘pasta with orange sauce’ - orange sauce being the tubs of Tomato and Mascarpone pasta sauce you get from the supermarket. The worst of it is, in a blind taste test I’m pretty sure I’d not pick this one out as my favourite. Fortunately it had six or seven big nuggets of lobster to ease the disappointment... and peas. God bless the peas.
But, still feeling like we were on holiday, we were determined to leave on a high. There was only one thing for it - the dessert menu. This is another Who’s Who list of Dolci Italiani, but I can’t see past the Tiramisù. It arrives looking like cake, but unfortunately and much more critically, it’s lacking in both alcohol and coffee.
However, we’ve still yet to experience the biggest disappointment San Carlo can serve up… there is just one dessert wine on offer - a Moscato d’Asti. There is no Reciotto della Valpolicella, no Passito di Pantelleria, no Sciacchetra, no Loazzolo, nor even a Vin Santo. If ever we needed a Who’s Who it’s now.
The service was supremely efficient throughout. As in Italy, the waiting staff are the epitome of professionalism, although it can sometimes come across as a little brusque. It’s very easy to imagine you’re in a tourist restaurant in Florence, Venice or Rome, so as for the claim that they’re the UK’s best Italian restaurant - if that means creating that illusion, then they must surely be a contender.
Time has stood still at San Carlo, whilst Birmingham’s food scene has moved on in leaps and bounds. I suspect they don’t care – why would they when their contemporaries have all fallen by the wayside, whilst they’ve gone on to thrive. The food fell well short, but as a lunch experience it was just fine.
And Simon picked up the bill too. Cin cin!
