Albert's Schloss
WUNDER BAR
It’s been a while since I last walked into a place and been so taken aback. I can see the greeter looking at me to confirm my booking, but I’m struggling to recall my name, whilst gawping at the shiny vastness of the place. And it’s bright, bordering on brash, but comfortable and welcoming at the same time.
It’s the second Albert’s Schloss (castle)—the first opened in Manchester in 2015—so whilst growth plans are in slow motion, it’s a formula ripe for expansion. Their website tells me ‘to revel in the wünder of our Schloss… (with) roaring fires, raucous performances, tankards of Europe’s finest bier, and endless naughtiness.’ Never mind that, I’m here for food.
View from main dining area
It seems scale isn’t applied just to space, as it’s a huge menu of terrible puns of mostly clichéd German and Alpine-influenced dishes, but that’s actually the wurst it gets… you see what they’ve made me do?!
Main dining area
As you’d expect from a self proclaimed pleasuredome, it’s got an impressive drinks menu and five minutes in, I’m pondering over the white wines, when my dining partner arrives for our ‘working lunch.’ Mark quickly spots and starts eulogising about the Birmingham Rein… their own-brewed German style pilsner that’s sold at Zumhoff as Digbeth Rein and in Manchester as yes, you guessed it.
With two pints of pilsner ordered it’s suddenly looking like a very beer friendly menu.
Ham + Alpine Cheese Krokette
First up are three golden croquette balls that may well be fried straight from the freezer. Never mind, they’re hot, crispy-breadcrumb coated and ooze a gruyère béchamel, although there’s just the subtlest hint of pancetta in the mix and a rather tame aioli, but it pairs adequately with my pilsner.
Haus Pretzel & Gouda
Mark’s gone for the haus pretzel, freshly baked on the premises. It’s a gargantuan thing, served with two dimunitive triangles of gouda and pots of sweet mustard and pickled cucumber. It’s another unspectacular, but solid choice for pilsner.
Service is friendly, although given the size of the room waiting staff can seem to disappear and we’re already into our second game of catch the waiter’s eye, to order more beers.
Beefsauerbraten
They arrive at the same time as the mains, but the beefsauerbraten across the table has me thinking I should have ordered this and gone down the wine route. It’s a huge slab of marinated short rib, cooked low and slow, with a lightly sweet and sour gravy and a side of fries. Although, any envy on my part proves to be short lived as he announces it’s cold, and so the game of catch any waiter’s eye starts again.
Currywurst platter
Meanwhile, my currywurst platter is ticking every box with two chilli beef frankfurters, topped with crispy onions, drizzled with Berliner curry sauce, on top of a pile of fries, with sides of extra curry sauce, sauerkraut and pickled cucumbers. Wunderbar!
There’s not much to say other than there can be no better beer food in the world and it’s an excellent version of it. Wonderfully densely meaty frankfurters with a quiet kick of chilli that builds slowly until your mouth is tingling on the final bite. And credit to the curry sauce that offers no more sophistication than generic curry powder. It’s perfect and exactly as I remember it in Berlin, although they’d be goose stepped out of there with a price tag of £16.50.
Just as I come to my last bite, the beefsauerbraten returns, although he has to ask for fresh fries, as the ones on table are twenty minutes cold. There’s nothing subtle about it, it just tastes as good as it looks… melt-in-your-mouth meat, a rich—rather than sweet and sour—gravy and chips. What’s not to love?
I’m half expecting a trinken on the haus to make up for their error, but no such luck and no harm done, as I need to get back to work. I call for the bill and it’s a mammoth £76.90 plus tip. It’s expensive for what it is—decent theme park food—although understandable given the premium location and setting.
I’ll certainly be back for a drink… in the afternoon definitely… in the evening maybe. I may even be back for more currywurst.
WORTH A TRY 6/10
One Chamberlain Square, Paradise, Birmingham, B3 3AX
