What we’ve got is dry-grilled, pre-cooked stewing steak that whilst not chewy per se, it’s far more of a jaw exercise and massively less joy than its name promises. A benign bacon ketchup provides no real support other than wetness… READ MORE
All in City Centre
Albatross Death Cult
The biggest surprise is whilst the Kagoshima wagyu A5 is indeed the fat-primed meat bomb that’s expected and further boosted by an umami-loaded 4-year-old soy sauce, it’s matched stride by stride by a buttery, crusted pommes Anna-style hash brown… READ MORE
Six by Nico Birmingham
There’s more crunch fail from the deep fried Mars Bar that should be the eponymous hero of the dish, but the under cooked batter is an unpleasant texture. Whilst that’s a huge disappointment, the rest is a sticky, sweet, crunchy and chocolatey dream and then there’s the smile inducing Irn Bru sorbet… READ MORE
Indian Cafe Racer
First up is gol gappa; crispy shells filled with chick peas, potato and vermicelli, accompanied with a sweet pouring sauce with a spicy kick, loaded with tamarind and mint. We clash knuckles going for the final shell, but I’m there first and they’re far too addictive for me to even consider any act of chivalry… READ MORE
Plates by Purnell's
Build-your-own anchovies on toast starts the belief that we’re looking at very well priced food. A generous pile of superior quality anchovies—meaty, firm and packing umami with the saltiness—sit on top of fresh tomato reduced almost to a sweet puree and then also a zesty, tangy and fragrant salsa verde… READ MORE
Orelle
My dressed crab is everything I want from a plate of food; there’s lightly sweet buttermilk with citrussy-anise attitude from a dill coulis swirl, freshness and crunch in abundance from rainbow radish and tart, green apple, but the sweet, delicate flavour of the crab still takes centre stage… READ MORE
Vinoteca
As for the beef carpaccio, rocket and Parmesan, off the lunch menu—so let’s not forget it’s made from “carefully sourced ingredients, created by each site’s own head chef”—it is nothing short of abysmal. Thin sliced, ‘roast beef’—the sort you get out a packet at the supermarket—with eight rocket leaves and a sneeze of cheese… READ MORE
Albert's Schloss
Wonderfully densely meaty frankfurters with a quiet kick of chilli that builds slowly. And credit to the curry sauce that offers no more sophistication than generic curry powder. It’s perfect and exactly as I remember it in Berlin, although they’d be goose stepped out of there with a price tag of £16.50… READ MORE
The Oyster Club
Our only conversation is to marvel at impeccably crunchy and fluffy in the middle roast potatoes; perfectly gnarly Yorkshires, beef that’s every bit the pink, tender fillet you’d expect; subtle sweetness from the roasted roots; and gravy that’s bolder than a drunken stag party… READ MORE
Rosa's Thai Café Birmingham
Rosa’s green curry (with more dry chicken) dangling the carrot of three out of three on the chilli scale merely confirms it’s not so much a recalibration of the scoville scale in the kitchen that’s required but a reprint of the menus… READ MORE
Dishoom Birmingham
The chef’s Birmingham special comes in the shape of mutton chaap korma – slow cooked, marinated chops, with a rich gravy vibrating with onion and cashews that’s perfect for the sweet, deep flavour of lean mutton that’s hanging off its bones. This comes with a khamiri roti—a pillowy soft, leavened flatbread that’s perfect for mopping up… READ MORE
Bonehead
My Friday the 13th special is a piece of art, covered in golden brown batter rippled like lava flows. Size wise it wouldn’t look out of place on the Sunday lunch table. The nose gushing and eyeball bursting 'hate crime' sauce must be completely off the Scoville Scale, but it’s a masochistic delight… READ MORE
Marmalade @ The REP
My ‘gourmet’ burger is pure canteen—leaning like the Tower of Pisa with a portobello mushroom, two beef burgers, shrivelled Parma ham, two sad pieces of little gem lettuce and a slice of gherkin in a ‘brioche’ bun. All the melted stilton spills out, soaking into the unnecessary paper serviette... READ MORE
Pulperia
There is so much joy on this plate. I’ve got both sauces adding extra layers of flavour, mixing in with lightly smoky steak juices, the sweet hits of black garlic and caramelised onion purees, and my rib eye tastes like it’s a beautifully intensified reduction of a bigger steak … READ MORE
Purecraft Bar & Kitchen
My burger looks picture perfect, but the bun is as brioche as Nigel Farage is French. There’s no soft, fluffy open texture; it’s dense and pushing heavily towards being on the stale side. It just dominates everything, suffocating any potential flavour from the bacon and cheese… READ MORE