The Green Man
HASHTAG DINING
Since launching Sneaky Diner I’ve received requests to do reviews in exchange for food and drink. I struggled a bit with this, but decide it’s fine, so long as I carry on writing honest, independent reviews.
So, having accepted the third such invite, we find ourselves heading out towards Tamworth on a Wednesday evening. It’s press night and our table is booked for 7.45. We’re greeted at the door, given a quick tour and invited to order a drink.
Momentarily self-conscious and stunted for conversation, we sit at the bar taking it all in. The pub has been refurbished and mostly set up for dining, with a small bar area and large outdoor area with parasols, tables and those weather friendly dark grey, rattan patio sofas and chairs. It’s an elegant space both inside and out, with lots of original features; there has clearly been a lot of money spent, whilst completely adhering to the gastropub style guide. This extends to the smiley and friendly, uniformed staff—all with logoed, black polo shirts and brown leatherette waist aprons.
It’s getting late, so we don’t linger at the bar and with drinks in hand, we’re shown into a smaller room off the main dining area. It’s a comfortable space; a mix of candle-lit warm tones—rust effect wallpaper, plush orangey-brown velvet banquette and bolster cushions.
We’re hungry so our attention quickly turns to the menus. Their ‘Day Boat Fish’ section supports sustainable British fishing, with two options; skate wing or monkfish. Our waitress has the enthusiasm of the head girl at the local school open day and recommends the monkfish “her favourite thing on the menu,” so it’s a done deal for both of us.
For starters, I decide on the Seared Wild Atlantic Scallops – Lobster and crab bonbons, pea and truffle oil velouté and Katrina opts for the Massaman Chicken Skewers - Pomegranate and tzatziki dip. We’re also persuaded to have some bread, “it’s free, so you might as well”.
Ten minutes later, our waitress returns with the rather despondent news that they’re out of monkfish. Bugger.
But, having got my mind primed for fish, I decide on the Oven Roasted Skate Wing with brown shrimps, garlic samphire and mashed potato. But Katrina needs a bit more time to peruse the menu, so my mind turns to the bread, taking furtive glances to see if it’s on its way yet. She eventually decides on the Maple Pork Belly and Pig Cheek, with Scallops on Dijon chive mash, cavolo nero, crisp prosciutto and a red wine & sage jus. But, there’s still no bread.
When the starters arrive, they look great. Two skewers of plump chicken pieces, sit on a bed of tzatziki, covered with a gravy-looking sauce, wearing a scattering of pomegranate jewels and chopped coriander. Mine has me immediately pulling myself up to the table to assess the plate; three king-sized scallops and two croquette-looking balls, on a bed of pureed peas topped off with a few sprigs of pea shoots. These plates look perfect for Instagram, but that’s as good as they get.
Katrina says hers is ‘OK’, although the main taste I get from my forkful is curry powder, which is nothing short of an insult to anything Massaman. As for mine, the scallops are cooked well, although they lack any caramelised, seared crust. The bonbons provide crunch, but in terms of flavour they are as near to crab and lobster, as prawn is to cracker. Nor could I remotely get any sense of truffle oil in the pea velouté—‘mushy peas’ in all but name. But, despite its shortcomings, the dish as a whole has a good balance of textures and you can’t really go wrong with the pea and scallop combo. The lightly toasted medley of bread arrives halfway through.
‘Massaman’ chicken skewers
Scallops, ‘crab & lobster’ bonbons and pea velouté
It’s a similar story with the photogenic mains. My skate wing is topped with lovely nuggety brown shrimps, but it’s almost afloat in butter—so much, that if it isn’t so overcooked, it could swim away. The mashed potato is all comfort, although this is clearly a very butter happy kitchen, although I’ve no complaints at all with the garlic samphire, which is a perfect accompaniment. Across the table it’s Katrina’s turn to be disappointed by the scallops—again without a seared crust and superfluous to the rest of the dish, although, it’s otherwise ‘OK’.
Oven roasted skate wing
It’s a decent wine list; amongst the usual suspects, there’s a Pinot Gris, Albarino and Viognier. The reds include a Barolo and Amarone, but opting for seafood all the way I decide on the Gavi di Gavi—which turns out to be slightly off dry and perfect with both my starter and main.
When our waitress returns to take our order for desserts, I’m unsure whether to take the plunge despite it being almost obligatory to order tiramisù if it’s on the menu. She says she’s not normally a fan of tiramisù, but she loves it here, as it doesn’t taste like it’s got any coffee in it. She wasn’t wrong; it’s a completely innocuous pile of chocolate topped creaminess and sponge, although—it’s got to said—it did look great.
Tiramisù imposter
It was worth the effort going for the whole surreal experience. It’s a great looking country pub, but as for the food it’s mostly style over substance.
