The Oyster Club
HAPPY HANGOVER DAY
It’s Father’s Day—my first without our daughter at home—and we’re joining friends with their sons to celebrate his Father’s Day.
Then at midday, just 90 minutes before our table’s booked, I get a call to say one of them has tested positive for COVID so they’re going to have to self-isolate. I immediately call the restaurant and they’re totally understanding and suggest as we’re now just a booking for two we may want to move to the bar, adding that it’s less formal. I’m always happy to take advice, especially with a hangover the size of a global pandemic.
We’ve actually both dressed up a bit—probably to do with still being excited to be able to dine out—and it’s vindicated on arrival by the well-lit elegance of the bar area. We’re shown to stools at the grey-white marble counter and we’re left with a small library of menus. The first one that gets my full attention is for drinks, before the DTs kick in. I’m only looking for Bloody Mary—which isn’t listed—but we order two anyway.
The Oyster Club bar
Scanning the poster size main menu, I spot the dishes I’d ordinarily struggle to decide between—roasted turbot on the bone, XO glazed skate wing or seared tuna sashimi—but my hangover is insistent it doesn’t want fish. I’d usually be up for the fight but with the option of a Sunday Roast Special, I know my hangover will just play dirty and sulk all afternoon. But I decide to play dirty myself and order a bottle of Chilean Carmenere to kick it into Monday.
As we’re at a ‘seafood and grill restaurant’ I decide it’s obligatory to have something fishy, even if it’s just Korean glazed BBQ skewer with belly pork and Italian red prawn. What I hadn’t realised is the use of prawn in the singular is exactly that and given the size of the pork belly pieces it feels unbalanced. I’d have had no issue if the unbalancing meant there were three prawns—two even—which would have elevated it into the ‘perfect category’ with its sweet and sticky gorgeousness being the yang to my hangover’s yin.
Korean glazed BBQ skewer with belly pork and Italian red prawn
Katrina’s gone for the tempura king prawns with a ‘spicy gochujang dipping sauce’ and whilst the prawns are perfectly cooked in a light tempura batter, the off-sweet sauce lacks spice and doesn’t bring enough to the party.
Tempura King Prawns
Just as we’re discussing where we are in the window of optimum time between courses and just before it starts the slip towards ‘too long’ a waitress arrives to clear a space between us. It seems extreme until another two waiters squeeze in a board with a gorgeously pink Chateaubriand of Wiltshire beef—sliced into four slabs—two textbook Yorkshire puddings and picture perfect roast potatoes. There’s also a bowl of crusted truffled cauliflower cheese, horseradish sauce and two small jugs of gravy. We’re now trying to make even more space for our plates with tenderstem and orange and honey glazed roast carrot and parsnip.
Chateaubriand of Wiltshire beef
I’m stunned by the amount of food—it’s only the two Yorkshires that convince me it isn’t meant for four—but it does mean the size of the gravy jugs provokes panic. I immediately ask for more and another arrives before I’ve even worked out what to put on my plate first.
The Oyster Club Sunday Roast Special
Our only conversation is to marvel at impeccably crunchy and fluffy in the middle roast potatoes; perfectly gnarly Yorkshires, beef that’s every bit the pink, tender fillet you’d expect; subtle sweetness from the roasted roots; and gravy that’s bolder than a drunken stag party. Whilst the cauliflower cheese is perfect on the bite, my one minor quibble is that it’s stuck somewhere between truffle and the cheese, whilst not especially delivering on either. But, it’s fair to say, my hangover is a very fussy customer.
Truffled cauliflower cheese
I feel like I’ve been eating since the start of June, but with seconds—no, make that thirds—I eventually end up with an empty plate other than a creamy, gravied mess that I may even have licked clean in a lesser establishment. For once, I can’t even contemplate dessert, but it’s been that close to exactly what I needed that it’s kicked my hangover into tomorrow.
With a large sparkling water the bill with service comes in at £158.95 and I know I’ll be back soon—without a hangover—for the seafood.
We head off home with talk of a duvet afternoon and as our cab pulls up outside the house I get a call from my daughter with the news that she’s coming up to see us next week.
It’s been a very happy Father’s Day.
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43 Temple Street, Birmingham B2 5DP
